It's quite shocking to see that the last time I posted here was a little more than a year ago, and yet when I read back on some of the posts I made I can still feel those emotions so vividly.
These days I've taken to sleeping without my phone by my side, and waking up seeing those missed calls from 3 am, 4 am, especially Saturday or Sunday mornings makes me glad I did that. I promise I'm not avoiding you or anything, but every call is a broken record of rage, frustration "
why aren't you out partying", "
I know I'm an idiot but I just feel so empty" and
"I love you". It's the same thing over and over and I don't have the energy to tell you, "
stop being stupid" another time. I care about you so much, but you have a lot of growing up to do, or maybe you just don't care.
Calvin Harris' "Feel so close" still envoke unease and a certain numbness within me, an emptiness that soaks into your pores through the pounding beats. "Not like the Movies" takes me back to that hopeful, breathless, giddy moment- is this it? But these days the soundtrack of my life consists of Daughter's Medicine (Sound Remedy Remix), The xx album, Lana Del Ray (The Lucky Ones and Young and Beautiful), We Can't Stop and sprinklings of GD, TOP, CL swaaaaaaag yeah. :)
Things I need to do:
- Get my license!! (both a new one and get my Ps, haha)
- Clean my room, again.
- Organise my messy bathroom drawers.
- Save up money.
- Plan photoshoots.